I watched the first episode of Biggest Loser Season 15. One of the contestants lost 38 lbs. in 1 week! Can I just say wow! The episode just really got me thinking about my weight lose journey and honestly made me a bit emotional.
One thing people who don't need to lose weight, don't understand is how our emotions and feelings really effect our weight. When someone is overweight, it's not just a physical thing. Usually there is something going on inside a person's head that has allow them to get to where they are. Often times in order to get our outside right, we have to get the inside right first.
Working at Weight Watchers and talking with members, I see so much sorrow in a lot of people. Last Monday I sat in tears with a lady that is going through something with her daughter that I can't even begin to imagine going through. And as I cried with her, she talked about God and how she realized the last week that she needs to lean on Him rather then turn to food for comfort. Not everyone has that relationship with God to get them through whatever it is they are going through. My heart goes out to them because they have to do it in their own strength.
In my own journey, I realized I was allowing guilt and self dislike to make me what I had become. Ultimately I had to get a little selfish and start to look out for myself a little more. I had to start seeing myself differently. When my family wanted to eat food that I shouldn't or didn't need to eat, I had to say no and it didn't go over very well. Now however, they eat it without me and that's ok. I don't miss it and I'm not going to tell them they can't eat it, but I had to be strong and stand up for what I needed to make myself better. I think it was a matter of finding a strength in me that I had forgotten was there. I believe God provides the strength I need.
When I think about having to stand up for my needs, it seems so contrary to my faith. Reconciling that in my heart has been a tuff journey. I still struggle with that, but I know my health and being there for my children and being the best me I can be is to important. When I look back at who I was before the weight lose, I was sad, guilt ridden, and I didn't like who I had become. I'm stronger now and I like myself and what's most important is my relationship with God is good. I know I'm where He wants me to be. Regardless of what anyone else may think.
Someday my dream is to help people even more than I am now with their weight lose struggles. Right now, I have one morning one day a week to do what I love. Someday though, I hope to dedicate more time to it. I believe God will provide that opportunity. As of right now though, my kids need me most, and I need to be an example of healthy active living to them so they don't go through the same struggles I have.
